I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
