exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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