he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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