I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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