I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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