it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
