my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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