Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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