Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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