Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
