it wasn't lemon gatorade
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
