what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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