My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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