Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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