yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
