We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
