Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize