none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
