There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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