what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
