I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
