she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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