she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
