You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
