Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
