Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
