Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
