we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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