Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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