i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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