Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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