I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
