i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
