Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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