I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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