Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
