i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
