I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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