Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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