dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
