To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
