well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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