margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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