i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
