I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize