i wish my penis had a tongue
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
