I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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