Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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