We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
