She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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