I can feel you judging me through the phone.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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