There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
