I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize