Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
