I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
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So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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