Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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