your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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