Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize