i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
