Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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