You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm passing your future prison.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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