Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize