I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
