What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
