That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
