did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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